sick like nobody's business like that/ mummy's 2nd monthsary

yesterday had slight coughing so i thought it was just a little virus that wei spread to me.

alas this morning when i woke up, i could barely speak. felt better before going to school but when i finished bloody zzz lunch (will elaborate later), my throat literally threatened to kill me. every mouth of saliva swallowed was hurting like fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

didn't help that i started to feel cold and warm in the lecture hall. got serious with bone aches when on the way home. dragged my feets bk home and wore very thick clothes to sleep because was feeling so cold.

woke up at 9pm when dad came home and ate my sore throat syrup and panadol. a whopping 39 degree celcius. boiling. i managed to wake up and cancel my driving lessons tomorrow RELUCTANTLY because i was looking forward to my lessons but for the sake of the risk i may not be able to even wake up tomorrow, i canceled it.

now i am still on mild high fever but lesser giddy spell. i can still online and type a whole chunk of craps, I AM OK, I HAVE NO H1N1.

i hope i will be ok by tomorrow because being sick suck especially when i need to rush for my project and isn't helping by falling asick and had no mood to finish my today's agenda.

extra work tomorrow. should be ok.........

AS FOR THE BLOODY LUNCH @ NP TODAY,

we had zesty tomato situated at the atrium, the food was medicore and they were soooooooooo stingy with the sauces. i am too lazy due to the fever to elaborate the ridiculous rules they had. you should just go check it out.

then we went to the lib to buy the bubble tea at each a cup, yes, the bbt stall is situated in the lib's cafe. the queue was damn long so we thought it was nice, ninabeh, the pearl was bloody freaking cb tasteless and the milk tea is not helping.

FAIL. even sim's one is soooooo much btr although before we tried each a cup, we feel sim's one suck. are the np students crazy or what? what's so nice of a tasteless red milk tea that worth your queuing???

cannot understand.

today is mummy's 2nd monthsary since she passed away. ytd daddy dug out all her jewelleries and gave me her ring. surprisingly, it was quite fitting considering my fingers are being bitchyly small BUT WHY NOT MY BUTT AND THUNDER THIGHS LEH?

i miss mummy as much as ever no matter how long she has left us. this coming sat am going back to granny's house which means to visit mummy's tomb. we are going to look for the designs for her tomb too. am planning to make a cool shit one with carpet grasses that we can plant flowers on it since mummy always loved flowers so much.

i just realised, if i am going to pass away early without my own family, i have no concrete place to be buried considered that i am not a singaporean THOUGH i was born in sg. i have no identity belonging in malaysia, i am not a johorian or whatsoever. lolllllllllllllllll.

BUT I WILL NEVER WANT TO BE BURIED AT JB and the only place i WANT to be buried now is back to parents hometown where all our ancestors and mummy are there. that's the only place i wanna be buried. but considering if i have a family in future, that would be otherwise.

in case i suddenly pass away ma, then daddy and smelly don't have to think so much of where i should be buried. i think i am thinking too much but we will never know when we will die. look at mummy, passed away without any warnings just like that. giving me the greatest shock and sadness in my whole life.

i am still praying very regularly for mummy to come into my dreams but it has been 2 whole months and i still have not dreamt of her. often, i wonder what's she doing now can she see us? if yes, then she would be seriously angry with me. lollllll.

i actually quite look forward to the day when we die because it would mean we will be going to another place, considering i can get to see mummy again, where we reunite.

sounds crazy? but no if you were in my shoes.

recently, i saw the newspaper, joshua ang, the media actor, his mummy also passed away suddenly, sorta similiar to what happened to mummy. can really understand how he feels. but the thing is, his brother and him are alr young adolescences and he earning quite a lot (he drives lor).

whereas smelly is just a smelly sec 3 school boy, me in uni being 'high maintenance' like what xiao le says and earning misery pocket money to satisfy my random craves.

but then after mummy passed away, i learn to be more thrifty and spend more wisely because i have to fork out my own money to get a lot of things which mummy spoilt me very much last time!

lastly, i just hope after 2 years, the company is still going strong for me to go over... am afraid of the ambitious and big dreams people who plans to bring in new things will be destructive. hopefully not.

and i hope i would be useful aft 2 years although i really am quite against to go over aft graduating considering that's not my interest at all. but then again, its what mummy built up.

tuition with little girl tmr and then miting oil farm in the evening. hopefully my condition would be good.

woah, i've typed a huge chunk! and i am going to continue on because i am feeling quite energetic... irony..........

hope the smelly ns man will be good and takes care of himself bk in camp aft a longgggggg week of resting, i don't think he is any better than me lor. and we still spammed iced yuan yang, mango ice, almond paste tang yuan last night.

wooohoo, we deserve it right?

kkk, going off now.

mummy, i miss you very much. hope you'll come into my dreams soon! please don't make me wait too long!